February 22. 2012
We all have a desire to be known...especially women. I have really been contemplating this lately because the deepest desire of my heart is to be known...to be known for who I am, the depths of my heart and to be understood. Right now I feel a lack of being known in all areas of my life. It is so interesting to me how there is a theme...it is not just not having a husband, but in the workplace, amongst my friends and in every aspect of my life.
See, I am one who doesn't like to share the depths of my heart because I am afraid of what will happen if I am known. I fight two battles: to be known and fear of being known for fear of rejection. These work against each other and I am realizing this is a problem.
As I was headed to pray about this specific thing, a song popped into my head by an artist named Audrey Assad. This song not only resonated with me, but made me realize that I first need to desire to be known by God. He is the ONLY one who will ever know the depths of my heart no matter how much I share with someone. My flesh wants something tangible, but I need to focus on my Heavenly Father who desires for me to share every detail with Him.
As much as I desire to be married right now, I am thankful that I have this time to reflect on my need for God....my need to be His wholeheartedly.
So, today starts a new adventure...to be known by God and through that allowing others to know me as well and to open up to that depth of relationship that I am so afraid of.
