Today is a day of praise! He helped me to overcome the struggles I had yesterday, but even moreso, He helped me to overcome the life of sin that I was wrenched in
God can overcome so much if you would let Him. He is all powerful and wants so desperately to overcome whatever you have going on on your life right now.
That is how I would describe my relationship with the Lord in the past month and a half. It could have been the craziness of work, life, moving, etc.. OR it could have just been that I wasn't spending enough time with God. Or could it be both?
Today I sat out in the backyard where I am staying right now and it was a piece of Heaven on earth for me today. We had planned to go to the beach today (which is the place I go when my heart needs refreshment), but God prepped me for not going. There was part of me that doubted we were going so I didn't get my hopes up. Instead, it turned into an amazing day...a day that I got things done, but I got the chance to sit before the Lord.
I would love to say that my time with Him near this beautiful creek refreshed my soul. It didn't. I started to get disappointed as I sat there because I wasn't "focused", BUT God gently said to me "just rest". I KNOW enough now about my relationship with Him to know that He will refresh my spirit and soul. Today, He just wanted me to rest and enjoy the time I had in this beautiful place.
It doesn't take away the fact that I miss Him terribly. I miss the closeness I feel with Him and the true peace I have. BUT even though I don't "feel" it, I know it is there. I have to TRUST it.
At house church the other night, the leader was sharing from James 4:4-5 about not being in the world. He shared a poem he had written in regards to this (and to distance from the Lord). These are the words that stuck out to me:
"Why must it take a mistake to surrender?...I may have mistakes and I may have pain, but I choose in this life to gain..."
The song below is by Shane and Shane and it is called "I miss you". Such a good description to where my heart is at.
Put down your paper plate
come to the table made
deep blue china
found on the table by the wine
so fine
it brings out flavor
like You bring out color in life [ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/shane_shane/i_miss_you.html ]
oh, i miss You so
the feel of forever
oh, that taste i know
it hurts to remember
unfortunately high
ironically dissatisfied
i miss You
i miss You
oh, i miss You so
the feel of forever
oh, that taste i know
it hurts to remember
i had a fleeting thought this morning
and i mentioned you today
it breaks my heart just to know You in part
and not to be with You where You are
What do you usually do in the times you feel distant from the Lord?
The beauty of God giving me a list for my husband is that He also gave me a list to strive for as a future wife someday. As with the previous entry, He used the same movie to show me what I should be in a future wife. There are so many things I need to continue to surrender to the Lord and allow Him to grow in me, but this is what He has given me so far to strive for as a future wife.
WIFE
1. A woman who puts God first (part of God's family)
2. Ambitious and has goals - Proverbs 31:15-16 says "She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens."
3. She has boundaries
4. She makes her husband want to be a better person - Proverbs 31:11 says "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain."
5. She is a woman of faith -Proverbs 31:30 says "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
6. She is willing to follow her husband's vision and submit to his leading
7. She is beautiful (inside and out- this is not beautiful as in what the magazines show, but TRUE beauty).
8. She is pure
9. She has a servant's heart
10. She desires to be a mother
11. She is modest
12. She encourages her husband and is his biggest cheerleader (even if she doesn't "feel" like it)
13. She "covers" her husband (instead of throwing him under the bus or talking badly about him (unnecessarily), she speaks highly of him).
This year on my retreat with the Lord, my focus was on praying for my husband and for allowing God to help me figure out what I wanted in a husband according to His word. He helped me do this with a different twist: through a movie. I have always loved the movie "A Walk to Remember" and I really felt like God was asking me to watch the movie and figure out what it was that I liked so much about both characters. So, one of the evenings, I popped some popcorn, sat down and watched the movie with paper in my hand to write down what jumped out at me about the characters. When the movie was over, I looked at the characteristics I listed and almost all of then were Biblical.
I have never been a "list" girl in regards to what I want in a man. I am in several other areas, but this seemed to be "off limits" for me. This was the year to make the "list". I always am hesitant to talk about a "list" in regards to a future husband because of two things: 1) I don't want to be disappointed and 2) I don't want to put God in a box. God helped me to come up with a list according to His word but also according to who I am. The beauty is that He is constantly adding to it and changing it (in a good way). I am not one who cares about the material things, but rather the immaterial things...things that matter in a long lasting relationship.
HUSBAND
1. Priest- Be able not only to teach, but be knowledgeable in the Word and lead our family with God as the center.
2. Provider- Someone who will provide for our family spiritually, financially and wisely...all with integrity.
3. Protector: Someone who...
- Protects me and my family physically from harm or danger
- Fights for me and stands up for me
4. Someone who is trustworthy and that I can trust completely in
5. Someone that makes me feel small in size (not belittling or demeaning)
6. Someone who sees my independence and responds to it lovingly BUT who also allows me to be weak and vulnerable (even though I will want to fight hard against it)
7. Someone who will take care of my car issues and things that make me feel vulnerable (taking care of the problem, whether that is fixing it himself OR taking it somewhere)
8. Someone who listens:
-to what I like
-to what I need
-to what I have to say
-to me
9. Someone who pursues and romances me (like Song of Solomon talks about)
10. Someone who will ask permission (of the important people in my life) to marry me
11. Someone willing to comfort me
12. Someone who is respectful of me and my issues
13. Someone who is creative
14. Someone who makes and uncomfortable situation comfortable
15. Someone who I feel comfortable in my skin around
As I was at the beach this past weekend, I came across a song that inspired me to write a letter to a friend. The more I go back to edit this post and read what God put on my heart for my friend, I realized this is for many women.
Dear Friend,
I know that you often say that your story resembles Hosea. I found this song today and it reminded me of you. It is so beautiful and is taken from the story in Hosea. I pray that you would always cling to where the Lord has brought you from and how much He loves YOU!
Hosea 2:14-16
“Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her.
15 And there I will give her her vineyards
and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.
16 “And in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’
Lately, God has been speaking to me through a specific artist: Shane and Shane. Tonight I was in a funk...really thinking about a situation I am going through and getting rather frustrated, thinking about how deeply wounded I am by my friend and now by my friends and frankly, just getting discouraged. I was reminded in my devotional yesterday about not having self-pity and getting out of the "pit". Although it was encouraging and reminded me not to dwell so much on my present troubles, I think I am hitting the reality of the situation and it is truly crushing me.
God has been so good to keep me busy and help me to have good things to distract me, but at the end of the day, it is still hard. I find myself questioning what I did wrong in the situation, maybe I am just a horrible friend, etc. There is so much of me that wants to be fleshly and speak the truth so that everyone understands, but I know that is not right. As I was contemplating this tonight, Shane and Shane came on again and it was a song that really spoke to me in my situation. It is called For the good. This is for HIS good...regardless of how I feel...it is all for Him.
When darkness is surrounding me by Your Spirit, Lord help me sing that You are working all things out Lord, I really need to hear you speak Remind me in the waiting that You are working all things out For the good of those who are called by You for the good of those who are in Love with You That's why we sing Holy God of light I lay down my life Holy is the Lord Even in the storm be glorified We like to take the blessing from You Shall we not take the trouble too You are working all things out We like to take prosperity Shall we not take the suffering You are working all things out Holy are you Lord even in the storm be glorified Worthy of affection
Is there something you need to remember is "For His Good" today?
