Distant.
That is how I would describe my relationship with the Lord in the past month and a half. It could have been the craziness of work, life, moving, etc.. OR it could have just been that I wasn't spending enough time with God. Or could it be both?
Today I sat out in the backyard where I am staying right now and it was a piece of Heaven on earth for me today. We had planned to go to the beach today (which is the place I go when my heart needs refreshment), but God prepped me for not going. There was part of me that doubted we were going so I didn't get my hopes up. Instead, it turned into an amazing day...a day that I got things done, but I got the chance to sit before the Lord.
I would love to say that my time with Him near this beautiful creek refreshed my soul. It didn't. I started to get disappointed as I sat there because I wasn't "focused", BUT God gently said to me "just rest". I KNOW enough now about my relationship with Him to know that He will refresh my spirit and soul. Today, He just wanted me to rest and enjoy the time I had in this beautiful place.
It doesn't take away the fact that I miss Him terribly. I miss the closeness I feel with Him and the true peace I have. BUT even though I don't "feel" it, I know it is there. I have to TRUST it.
At house church the other night, the leader was sharing from James 4:4-5 about not being in the world. He shared a poem he had written in regards to this (and to distance from the Lord). These are the words that stuck out to me:
"Why must it take a mistake to surrender?...I may have mistakes and I may have pain, but I choose in this life to gain..."
The song below is by Shane and Shane and it is called "I miss you". Such a good description to where my heart is at.
Put down your paper plate
come to the table made
deep blue china
found on the table by the wine
so fine
it brings out flavor
like You bring out color in life
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/shane_shane/i_miss_you.html ]
oh, i miss You so
the feel of forever
oh, that taste i know
it hurts to remember
unfortunately high
ironically dissatisfied
i miss You
i miss You
oh, i miss You so
the feel of forever
oh, that taste i know
it hurts to remember
i had a fleeting thought this morning
and i mentioned you today
it breaks my heart just to know You in part
and not to be with You where You are
come to the table made
deep blue china
found on the table by the wine
so fine
it brings out flavor
like You bring out color in life
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/shane_shane/i_miss_you.html ]
oh, i miss You so
the feel of forever
oh, that taste i know
it hurts to remember
unfortunately high
ironically dissatisfied
i miss You
i miss You
oh, i miss You so
the feel of forever
oh, that taste i know
it hurts to remember
i had a fleeting thought this morning
and i mentioned you today
it breaks my heart just to know You in part
and not to be with You where You are
What do you usually do in the times you feel distant from the Lord?
