This Father's Day was unique for me. God is changing my heart and opening it little by little to embrace things I have not embraced for a really long time. Today it was my dad..and the dads in my life.
I have had many "fathers" in my life. Not as many as some, but more than a type-A personality would want. I read blogs today about dads and in one it was mentioned that her dad was her "hero". I got to reflecting on that statement and realized that if I am honest, my dad wasn't my hero. Instead, he was just a part of a season of my life. He was one chapter in a book. He was a great man, but so much of me doesn't remember him at all other than the pictures I have.
My dad, Bill Kirkpatrick.
As I reflected on the term "hero" in regards to a father, I thought
about my stepdad. He is an amazing man and has been a huge blessing to
our family. I know he loves me, but it just isn't the same. Since I was
15 when they got married, we don't have a close bond. Instead, it is
more surface and my mom fills in all the details for him. He has been so patient and kind with us, embracing us as his own children, but it is still different.
My stepdad, Kim Kutsch.
Some days I long for the "hero" dad. The dad that I know I could go to no matter what. A day like today where I was going home heavy hearted and facing something I desperately didn't want to face. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry, all the while screaming "this isn't fair". I wanted someone to take care of the "big bad wolves".
Instead, I went alone.
As I sat on my bed with tears streaming down my face, I cried out to my heavenly Father. The one I knew I could count on in the midst of pain. HE is my hero. He ever so gently and lovingly reminded me of His word and how much HE cares about me...loves me and truly desires relationship with me. I needed encouragement and He brought it in His word.
Psalm 61:1-3
"Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you. When my heart is faint lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy."
I never have to be alone and with out a "hero" or "father". I have one that truly loves me and cares for me above anyone else. I am so thankful for the fathers that He has put in my life, but tonight, I am comforted by my true Father. In a twisted way, I am glad that God reminded me that ultimately He is my Father. It puts a good perspective on this day!
In what ways is your earthly father similar to the Heavenly Father?
