The old phrase "Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt me" is not anywhere near true. Words hurt more than anything else. Words have the power to encourage us and to hurt us to the depth of our souls. Words wound.
I have been reflecting on this as I have been needing to work through a hurt I have...a hurt that was with words. It has hurt me more than anything or anyone ever has. The analogy God gave me about the situation I am dealing with was that it is like I was shot in the back by someone that I trusted and was vulnerable with. But the bullet is the kind that when you try and get it out, it actually causes more damage and tears more.
Right now I have been trying to get the bullet out on my own, but I am causing more damage than good. I need medical intervention. I need help. I would imagine that someone who has been shot with this type of bullet has to have help in removing it. At the least numbing the skin and carefully removing the bullet. Worst case scenario, they are put under and it is surgically removed. Either way, they have help...serious medical intervention by someone who knows what they are doing. After it is removed, there are stitches that are sewn, antibiotics given and rest is required for healing. Even after the surgery, there is still some pain, but over time, the pain lessens.
In this same way, the wound I have incurred needs this type of medical intervention. I need to let the "surgeon" get the bullet out, sew the stitches, give me medicine and allow my body to rest. Easier said than done, but I know it needs to happen. It can't be ignored. I am not sure what the "help" looks like to get through this time, but one thing I know for sure is that God will be here for me no matter what.
I have had a lot of time to reflect on how much words can hurt and in God's goodness, a house church leader just went over the power of the tongue the other day. He went over James 3:1-18.
Taming the Tongue
3 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or
take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by
strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot
wants to go. 5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
As I have been thinking about how hurt I am by the wounds of a friend, it has caused me to ask the Lord to show me how to tame my tongue. I would never want to incur this kind of pain on anyone else. Things I might not have given a second chance to in the past, God has shown me may not be fruitful. They might not speak life into others' lives. I am so thankful that God is teaching me in the midst of my hurt, how to correct something I never knew was really a problem.
In His true faithfulness, He showed me an example of how He used His words through me to bless someone else...to bring fruit and encouragement into their life. THAT is what I want. I want people to leave a conversation with me knowing how much they are loved and to be encouraged.
In what ways do you need to change so that your speech brings encouragement into others' lives?
Which words are you going to choose today?
**For more reference, here is a blog that our pastor's wife wrote to her son about words:
**For more reference, here is a blog that our pastor's wife wrote to her son about words:
http://www.hespeaksinthesilence.com/2012/05/letters-to-my-son-words-part-two/
