March 3. 2012
(My sister-in-law, Jaimee, got me this outfit for when my niece was born.)
I have never felt more at peace about what I was meant for than now. Even though I am exhausted and emotional, there is something that skips a beat for me and it blows me away. I LOVE being an aunt and being able to help.
As I was driving back to my brother and sister-in-laws house tonight to be an extra hand, I was reflecting on the reason maybe God has me single right now: to be available. There are many times when I am not "ok" with being single and I struggle with it, but for one moment, God allowed me to see a little more: He needs me here. If I were married or even dating, I would not be as available to clear my schedule and be available for my family.
There is no "job description" for what God has created me for. He has created me to love my nieces and nephews. He has created me to help fill a gap, to listen and to be there if there is a need. He has allowed me to have the ability to sacrifice everything to help. But most importantly, by God being the center of my life, He has allowed me an opportunity to talk about Him freely. These days I will NEVER forget. Here are just a few things in the last few days that make me smile:
-I sang my nephew Dailey to sleep
-I made my nephew Rhys laugh hysterically by saying "no". There is no better sound than a child laughing hysterically.
-I am able to be available to help my brother and sister-in-law by staying overnight and helping with my nephew Dailey.
-My niece Keeley smiled at me today when I was playing hide and seek with her.
-My nephew Dailey pulled me around by my shirt because he wanted me to play with him.
My heart is full. I am so blessed to have the space to do what God wants me to do. I could not have planned it better. Now, my prayer is that when I am dating and eventually married, my boyfriend/husband would understand my heart for my family, but also that my family would understand my heart and desire for them. To continue loving them just the same and being just as available.
As I look back (or even see now), my mom has been the example of this. She is so great about dropping everything for family. She serves, loves and provides what people need. Thank you God for the example of my mom!
